Being a mom in 2013? Are we trying to do too much?

As moms of 2013, I feel like we are constantly moving and doing. We are always on call, constantly thinking about something or trying to plan what our next step is. We don't stop. Our day never ends. Whether we are a working mom or a stay at home mom, we are always"on the clock." We are also trying to keep our kids just as busy as we are or the next kid is.  It is insane! 

As moms of 2013, we are naturally looking at some type of social media on our phones, iPads or computers. We are posting on Facebook while trying to fix dinner or "play" with our kids. We are either taking pictures during playdates or dinner dates out with our little darlings, trying to document that day or we are pinning on Pinterest the latest project we found or a friend re-pinned It never ends and we wonder why we are so drained!

We (or maybe I am speaking about myself here) wonder why we can be so short with our kids or why we think they are running around like crazy. Well, because we are distracted. Our kids are dying for our attention, to have us one on one and be in the moment.  

Just yesterday on our way to Atlanta, I was checking Facebook to pass the time (I wasn't driving don't worry). While reading status updates and news articles on Huffington post, I got so frustrated because my kids were bothering me while I was on my iPhone. Really? How dare they interrupt me! As I am perusing my iPhone, I move on to pinning a new decorating idea on my Pinterest board and a recipe that I probably will not ever attempt at that. Then, I am trying to get this Groupon for my next Pure Barre class before it sells out, and oh, I just saw a friend on Facebook that is posting pictures of her latest trip to the beach. What am I doing? I am in La La Land. Lord help me!

So I stop, give myself a reality check I realize the time I just spent doing all of the Facebook and Pinterest, I could have been catching up with my kids and my husband. I immediately start playing old school road trip games with my kids and dance to fun music to pass the time. Olivia, my youngest kept saying, "Stop, Mommy" as I bobbed my head to the music and my oldest, Alatia, just laughed and danced along with me.  Some of you may be thinking, well yeah, that is what you are supposed to do with your kids on a road trip. Well, I am embarrassed to say, I don't do that all the time.

When I am on a road trip, I sometimes use that time to catch up on the social media, my to-do lists, calling people back, or returning a text, that I forgot to do earlier that week. However, in the end, I don't get much done because I am constantly getting on to one of my kids for kicking my seat, or I am having to get them more Goldfish because the gallon size bag I gave them was not enough.

Road trips are so hard and they can definitely bring out the worse in me, but I have to say, when I did take the time to start a game with my kids, crank of the tunes and dance, instead of looking at my phone majority of the time, it helped make the ride smoother and that is a plus in Atlanta traffic.

Now back to Facebook....we (or maybe I am again talking about myself here) as moms are naturally comparing ourselves or pressuring ourselves to be something that we are not. For example, we see a picture of our friend's kids in matching outfits, monogrammed or smocked, the perfect hair bow or headband to match (I attempt this all the time, see below).

We see moms Facebook posts/pictures of their beautiful family with their house in the background that not only looks perfectly decorated, but immaculate. Hmmm..any of this ring a bell? Then, we see another mom's post who just threw a birthday party for her son with inflatable bounce houses everywhere, super heroes to play with the kids and sign autographs, custom made favors with even the customized sticker on the water bottles and a handmade banner she made the night before to tie in the whole party theme. Finally, there is the post from a mom that not only does all the above, but she also home schools her kids, volunteers for everything and only cooks organic meals. The list can go on, but you get it. 

Really, I am just worn out thinking about all of what we try to do as moms in 2013.

I spend my time photo dumping pictures of my kids on Facebook to keep the grandparents up to speed as well as keep a documentation for my kids. It's how I justify my actions, although I just think it makes me feel good as a mom (especially on the days I feel so inadequate)

I really do struggle with the question….am I making memories for my kids or for myself? I think I might have just had an Ah-ha Oprah moment there! 

As I said, I have been feeling like a less than adequate mom. I have been less patient and have just felt like I have been in survival mode. By the time my husband gets home if he is not traveling that week, I am just done! I don't even want to talk to anybody and nobody wants to be around me, but it is nobody's fault but my own. I am on all the time and I am trying to do too much just keep up. 

I have let Facebook and other social media distract me and I have let my mind wonder to comparing myself to others instead of being who I am . I am constantly pressuring myself to be the mom I am not, instead of the mom I am.

When I held my oldest daughter for the first time, I knew who I was then... a mom. I just knew I would get this mommy thing down. I mean how hard could it be. To me, it was simple. Take care of her, feed her, hold her when she cried and make her feel safe. Aren't those the top needs that we as humans all want and need? Love, nourishment and to feel safe? 

My daughters didn't ask me to be the Pioneer Woman that now has her own cooking show and makes these amazing meals every day for her family. My daughters didn't ask me or expect me to be a fashionista like Rachel Zoe that wears heels like they are New Balance tennis shoes or be seen as some flawless celebrity mom, like Jennifer Garner. Although, it would be fun to be one of them for a day. Just a day! 

When my girls were born, all they needed and wanted was my love. So simple and so overlooked at times. 

As Moms of 2013, we can so easily get wrapped up in keeping up with the moms that we are not. 

I know I will never be the mom that cooks organic meals. I am the mom that runs to Publix to get the already made pizza dough from the bakery, the ready made pizza sauce and bagged mozzarella to top it off. I am the easy mac and don't mind baking brownies out of a box kind of mom. Dark chocolate Ghiradelli is my friend. I am also the mom that doesn't mind germs so much that I will let my kids break the eggs, stir the brownie batter and lick the spoon. Don't worry if you have gotten brownies from me, I didn't do that for your batch. Give me credit! 

While I am not the mom that gardens, I am the mom that will attempt a green thumb or get down and dirty and make some mean mud pies with my kids. I am not the mom that sews or can even put a button on for that matter. Sad, but true.  I am not the mom that irons my kids clothes that great or can fold fitted sheets nicely.

I am the mom that takes the warm sheets and blankets out of the dryer and throws them on the kids to make them feel nice and cozy. Then, I am the mom that will build castles and tents with those wrinkled sheets (that I don't press) and then ball them up in a pillow case so that look half way decent in a linen closet. Do the cute baskets and containers I put the linens in count? Well, it works for me.

Livi sporting good ole bed head while getting cozy in a nice warm blanket out of the dryer

So as much as I want to be able to fold better, iron better, bake bread from a starter and be more organized, I am just not. I am not that mom no matter what you think or what it looks like on Facebook.

I am a mom that loves photography and fashion. I love taking pictures and dressing up with my kids is so much fun for me. The girls also love when I throw a dance party or do a fashion show with them. I also love to read stories to them and swing them at the park until my arms hurt. I love to cuddle with my kids on the couch and eat microwave popcorn while watching a favorite Disney movie.  I just love to make memories with my kids and getting to be their mom. 

Not everyone can be Martha Stewart or the Pioneer Woman. We can't all dress like we just stepped of a magazine, or have a house as organized and incredibly decorated like in Elle magazine or Real Simple. We can try, but in the end, we have to be real and true to ourselves. Because when we are true to ourselves, we are giving our family and kids such a gift. 

Our kids will remember the mom that taught them to be true to themselves and that loved them for who they were, not for who they were trying to make them be with the matching hair bows they hated or that awful haircut you made them get because you thought it was so cute. I mean if you have seen me and my kids, we usually have bed head going on or a headband to hide it.

Moms, you never know what your life will bring, so be you and embrace you. Believe me, it is much less stressful to be yourself and so much more joyful! Your kids will notice it too. They will notice you being in the moment and not distracted with what you think you should be doing. They are not going to remember your Facebook status, or know anything about it. They are going to remember those real moments.

Real Moments

Getting to be a mom is a gift you have been given, so make it matter and seize every moment….even the hard and challenging ones, because those are the ones that help you learn and grow into being a better person, a better mom.

A glass a wine can help too. Just saying…:) Happy Mother's Day Weekend ladies and cheers to you and all that you do for your family! 

10 Ways to be a Happier Mom by Ann Voskamp...

A great post from Ann Voskamp that we as moms can appreciate.
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/08/10-ways-to-be-a-happier-mom/

Calling all parents of girls, you don't want to miss this event!

As a parent of two very strong willed girls, I am always looking for books I can read to learn more about positively raising my girls in this ever changing culture. I am also looking for them to keep my sanity and not lose my patience. 

Without sounding too much like my parents, I feel like my kids are growing up too fast already. My five year old daughter is already worrying about what she is wearing compared to what the other kids have on that day. Maybe this is normal now, but I don't remember thinking about that until I was in middle school?

I am constantly challenged by my girls (in a good way) to be a better parent and to try to understand how they really tick so I can help them development into more positive and secure individuals.  So who to better help me and all you other mommies out there with spirited young ladies, is Sissy Goff, one of the authors of All You Need to Know About Raising Girls. 

This coming, Wednesday, April 17, at 6:30pm, The Brentwood United Methodist Church will be hosting an event  led by Sissy Goff on “Raising Girls." Goff will focus on what is special about raising and building a positive relationship with girls.All ages and stages of development will be discussed as well. We hope you come by to learn more about raising girls in all the stages of their life. 

To learn more about Sissy Goff , stop by http://melissatrevathanandsissygoff.com/about.php.

Hope to see you mommies this Wednesday night starting at 6:30.

Sweet Ideas for Your Little Valentines

Cupid Clusters, and other yummy healthy Valentine Recipes

Every time you turn around at Publix, Fresh Market or even at your local pharmacy, there are sweet treats galore! They even Easter candy out now! Thanks a lot Russell Stover and Godiva! Now, how are we going to keep our New Years resolution to eat healthier and stay fit? Ha! Well, we know you have to indulge into your sweet tooth every now then, but we also know the importance of teaching our kids healthy eating habits too, right?

So as you are trying to not look at those yummy chocolates staring you in the face and tempting you to indulge more than you should, you opt to head for the more waist friendly side of the store, where you can find ingredients for some yummy, healthy Valentine's Day treats, and here are our favorites. The smoothies and cupid clusters are a hit at our house. Let us know what you like or if you have any recipes you  would like to share.

Cupid Clusters (From www.recipe.com) 

Cereal and dried berries are held together with melted white chocolate to make these easy snacks. Enjoy them for dessert as well.

Servings: 24 clusters

Ingredients

• 3 cups  Yogurt-Burst Cheerios or similar whole-grain cereal
• 1/2 cup  chopped dried strawberries  
• 1-1/2 cups  white chocolate chips

Directions

Place paper liners in 24 mini muffin cups. Toss the whole-grain cereal and chopped dried strawberries in a medium bowl. Melt the white chocolate in a microwave on high for a minute, stirring it frequently. Combine with the cereal and strawberry mixture. Spoon into prepared cups and refrigerate until the clusters are firm, about 5 minutes.

Recipes Below from http://www.examiner.com/

Pizza my heart. Form pizza dough into the shape of a heart and top with turkey pepperoni and lots of fresh vegetables. This is a simple, no fuss Valentine's Day dinner and kids love the idea of choosing their own toppings

1.    Love wrap. Spread a whole wheat tortilla with a thin layer of light cream cheese. Top with sliced strawberries and roll up. If you like, you may also spread a thin layer of strawberry jam over the cream cheese before adding the strawberries. Or substitute banana slices for strawberries. If you help them with the slicing, kids can assemble these all by themselves.

Recipe From http://www.themenumom.com/

Strawberry Roll-ups
  You will need: 4 (6 inch) soft tortilla shells
  Low-fat Strawberry cream cheese
  4 T Strawberry jam
Spread the cream cheese to the edge of each tortilla. Add 1 T of strawberry jam, spread down the center. Fold in the edges of the tortilla, about two inches. Now roll the tortilla up- jelly roll style. Slice into 2-inch bites for the perfect Valentines Day snack.

Mini- Fruit Smoothies for Valentine’s Day
Kids love fruit smoothies, so why not serve them on Valentine’s Day to show your children how much you love them- in a healthy, delicious way. They’re so easy to make, you’ll find yourself whipping up a batch even when it’s not a special day. Simply combine a blend of fruits in your blender, with a little fruit juice added for liquid. You can serve them in decorated Dixie cups for little hands and decorate them with cocktail umbrellas for a special touch.

Valentine’s Day Kabobs
One way you can let the little ones indulge in a special Valentine’s Day treat, without giving up all things nutritious is by serving Fruit Kabobs with Yogurt Dip. You can find red or pink plastic skewers and then load them up with strawberries, cherries, watermelon and red seedless grapes. You can use a tiny heart shaped cookie cutter for the berries and watermelon to add to the festive look. Low-fat vanilla yogurt works great as a dip and strawberry yogurt would be perfect with your theme. You can even add in a little math by making patterns with your fruit kabobs! :)

Other Sweet Ideas:  Do heart shape pancakes or muffins for breakfast. Cut your child's sandwich into a heart shape and pack in their lunch bag for a Valentine's Day surprise. Then, add a sweet note to let your child or even your little honey know how much you love them.   

Make a resolution to give more of your time...

"Make a memory with your children,
Spend time to show you care;
Toys and trinkets can't replace those
Precious moments that you share.
Money doesn't buy real pleasure,
It doesn't matter where you live;
Children need your own attention,
Something only YOU can give."

-Elaine Hardt

What's your Mommy Resolutions this 2013?

Happy 2013 Hands on Mommy friends! We hope you all have had a wonderful holiday with your family and friends, soaking in every bit of quality time with your loved ones and squeezing in a little rest and relaxation for you too. 

So to ask the traditional question of the New Year, what are your Mommy resolutions? Do you want to cook more for your family? Do you want to take more pictures? Organize your home or get in a better routine?

As we celebrate a new beginning, let's try to set some goals, to better ourselves and our family. At the dinner table tonight, sit down with your kids, talk about all the things that they accomplished last year, pointing out what they couldn't do the year before and what they can do now. For example, riding a bike, writing their name or learning how to skip. Then, talk about what kind of things you would like to do or learn in the New Year. 

The important thing is to not be too preachy or tell your children what they should do. Encourage them to set goals. Then, be a good role model in keeping your resolution. If you are going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk. 

a little teacher love today...

Making Good Memories by Managing Yourself

Do your kids pick up on your holiday stress? You bet they do! 
Today we are sharing a great article from Laura Markham from http://www.ahaparenting.com/ that gives some sound suggestions from keeping things real at the holidays.
You can read the article here and sign up for the newsletter here.
We aren't affiliated with Aha! Parenting--we just think they are great, and bet you will, too.

A cardboard box turned into a sleigh ride and more...

With a little help from the UPS man, and the cardboard box from Pottery Barn Kids, my girls were entertained for at least an hour, while I prepared dinner tonight. Amazing what a plain ole cardboard box can do to keep your kids busy and productive.

In our past posts, we have talked about the importance of keeping your child's toys simple and how the more simple they are, the more your child is encouraged to use their imagination, social, language as well as critical thinking skills. For example, tonight, my girls pretended their beat up Pottery Barn Kids box was a sleigh, and then after they had their fun on their sleigh ride, they imagined they were at the beach and their cardboard box, was their "boat." So while I was preparing dinner, and the girls were having fun on their sleigh ride or in their boat, they were laughing, talking, and having fun thinking of so many ways or things they could turn this ordinary box in their latest adventure.

Lesson I learned? Don't throw away every box you get in the mail. You never know what this box can teach your child as well as you!

Tis the Season to Reading Aloud

As you know, we strongly encourage reading aloud to your children at least 20 minutes every day. It is the perfect way to bond, as well as teach your child pre-reading skills. So let’s take advantage of the great holiday stories, old and new, and read to our children every night. This is another way to create a holiday family tradition.

Our favorite holiday books:

Twas the Night Before Christmas

The Polar Express

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Merry Christmas Curious George

Merry Christmas Biscuit

Merry Christmas Mouse

Olivia Claus

Fancy Nancy Splendiferous Christmas

Room for a Little One

B is for Bethlehem

The Nativity

The Little Drummer Boy

the importance of traditions...

When I think of my childhood Christmas memories, I immediately think of my Grandparents and how they made this special holiday so memorable. I remember baking and decorating cookies with my Aunt and cousins at my Grandma’s house. Then, I used to always look forward to riding around with my mom and dad, looking at our town’s gorgeous Christmas lights and decorations, while listening to fun holiday tunes. I also remember the cozy feeling of getting into my holiday pjs after a warm bath and curling up on the couch with hot cocoa, to watch Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Then, as I got older, I looked forward to the traditional Christmas Eve candlelight service at my church, and then having a yummy meal afterwards, with my whole family.

It is really the simple things that we remember and cherish, even as adults. So when you are thinking about creating family traditions in your home this holiday season, remember it doesn’t have to be elaborate. You don’t have to go, go, go all the time to entertain your child. It is your time and what you believe is special.

We would love to hear what your favorite childhood memories are or what kind of family traditions you have created with your family? I know for me, I have carried the tradition of baking with my girls every week, and then just snuggling up with them each night to read them a Christmas book or watch their favorite holiday show, like Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph.

There are other ways to create family traditions like doing holiday crafts together, like Christmas cards or ornaments, setting a certain date and time to decorate the tree, or maybe even volunteering somewhere to really encourage your child and teach them about giving and not just receiving.

We look forward to hearing about your traditions and how they are special to you.

For parents: Coping with learning differences

Most days of the week I receive a call from a parent of one of my students. These calls tend to increase at this time of year and the start of the holidays signals the end of the school semester. Sometimes it’s a simple confirmation of our schedule or a quick question. But often, when I get off the phone, I realize that these families are asking questions, seeking reassurance, and requesting advice for one reason: fear.

This is not momentary fight-or-flight fear, but rather a lingering cloud of concern. Days have become carefully orchestrated symphonies of schoolwork, after-school appointments, homework, and correspondence with all involved parties to ensure harmony. The time-consuming project of managing a child’s needs interferes with work, family, and personal responsibilities; time for relaxation, socializing, and sleep gets stolen to make up the difference. Meanwhile, costs for additional services strain family budgets and stress strains marriages. The fear comes in when there is a glitch: an accommodation is not made, a test is failed, or, worst of all, when the child expresses that they are a failure. Parents, doing all that they can do, worry that it is not enough.

How do you help the child without getting swept away by the demands?

1. Start with school. Establish relationships with the school personnel who are responsible for meeting your child’s needs and hold them accountable. After all, they are being paid to do this! This is accomplished by keeping a record of all correspondence, and referring back to it regularly to see if all promises are being kept. In a public school setting there are legal rights—get to know them. If you are in a private school, be sure it is the best possible fit and that there is a designated person assigned to manage your child’s supports.

2. See your child as a whole person. Don’t drop all the extra-curriculars to free up time for homework/tutoring. Encourage your child to be a friend (socializing with others), an individual (taking classes in art, music, or sports not offered at school), and a family member (doing chores and spending time together). Without these identities, your child may view himself as simply a kid who has trouble with school. Yes, you may need to pick and choose activities with an eye toward balance, but it is worth the effort.

3. Set limits. Decide how much time you personally are going to spend fighting the battles, and how much time your child will spend on work outside of the school day. Be realistic, and stick to it.

4. Seek community. You are not alone. Online forums can be a way to find support, but nothing beats in-person relationships. Gather the courage to open up just a little bit about the challenges your child is facing, and be prepared to find out how many of your friends are facing similar issues or know someone who is. Also seek out (or consider starting) a parents group that meets regularly.

5. Check in with yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed. Make two lists—one for what is working, and one for what is not working. Celebrate the positives, and identify the people who can help you solve the problems.

Parenting a child with unique learning needs is a challenge, to be sure. But by establishing priorities and supports you will make a difference.

This article was originally posted at www.heathergillum.com.

Make the most of your time together....

As we are approaching this busy holiday time of year, let's remember that it is still all about the simple things that are children need most. Not the extravagant toys, fancy clothes or shiny new bike, but simply, your time.

There are so many things that we can do on a regular basis to give our children our time and also throw in some learning time too.

Here are some of our favorites:

• Take a walk together
• Fly a kite together
• Host a tea party
• Play dress-up or superheros
• Cuddle on the couch while reading a favorite book
• Color or paint a picture together
• Play a board game
• Play hide and go seek
• Bake together. It doesn't have to be anything complicated. It can be slice and bake cookies!
• Have a dance party in the kitchen before dinner
• Have breakfast together
• Make dinner together
• Go to the park or play a fun game in your own back yard
• Build a fort with pillows and blankets

 

We hope you will take a little time out of this craziness time of year of shopping for gifts, holiday parties and traveling and just hang out and enjoy your kids/family...the good ole fashion way. Our kids will not remember all the toys they had, but they will definitely remember the special times they got to spend with their parents. My daughter still talks about the time we played out in the snow at night and this was over a year ago! So special!

Grocery Store Games

Grocery shopping with your child may not be your favorite activity, but with a little preparation and a lot of patience, you can make this shopping trip fun and a great opportunity for learning.

Here are some ideas:

• On the way to the grocery store, create a memory game like “we are going to Publix and we are going to buy a huge piece of bread that can take us to the beach.” Make your descriptions really silly and elaborate, adding more items to the list and see what they can remember.
• Give them their own shopping list with pictures and give them clues on where they can find the items.
• You could play, “I Spy.” “I spy a red fruit that is round and juicy.” “Do you see it?”
•  Have them help you take the items out of the cart or let them help you put the items away when you get home. You can even go as far as sorting the items by type or size depending on the age of your child.

So when you are dreading that trip to the grocery store, just remember these simple little games and just have fun! You will be surprised how much you can teach your child in just that little trip to the store and back.

Things to Remember: The grocery store is a rich resource for teaching descriptive words, reading, numbers, math, and memory skills. It might take a little longer with the wee ones in tow, but you are accomplishing so much more than shopping.

Examples of Gra-ti-tudes!

"I am grateful for my pink bunny that made me feel safe during nap time today."

"I am grateful for my cookie I got from the nice lady at Publix."

"I am grateful for my soft coat that keeps me warm on cold, windy days at the park."

"I am grateful for my kids that make me smile and life each day"

"I am grateful for my mom and dad that support me and love me just the way that I am."

"I am grateful I have a warm house to live in, clothes on my back and food to eat."

"I am grateful for the sun shining and the colorful leaves on the ground."

"I am grateful for my child's school and the wonderful teachers that make them feel loved and create a love for learning."

Be thankful ...be present!

We know as busy moms ourselves that it is so hard to always be present for your kids or husband all the while you are trying to cook, get laundry done and maybe for some of you, do your other day job.

We know that it is a constant struggle as we are trying to find that balance between life at home and outside of home of being a mom.

As moms, we think oh I should have done that better. I should have listened more or I should have hugged on my kids a little more today instead of worrying about the dirty floors or whatever to-do list we had going that day.

We as moms naturally put pressure on ourselves to volunteer for this committee or event at our kids' school. To host a clothing or jewelry trunk show for a friend. To remember every friend's birthday and sometimes even their kids'. To make every girls night or play date. This list can go on and on!

We put soooo much pressure on ourselves not only mentally but physically. No wonder we are all rushing around like crazy people and forgetting to make those gratitude lists or forgetting to just make time for ourselves so we can be there for our family more.

We need to be more thankful for who we are now, not comparing ourselves to other moms. We are who we are! We have to remember to do what is best for us, our kids and family not do what everyone expects you to do.

Parents, please embrace this time of year. Get those "gratitude jars" out and be thankful for those little moments that seem to pass us by in a flash! This year (2012) is almost over. What are you waiting for! End this year with no regrets and a huge list of what you have to be grateful for! Because...

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today”
- Anonymous

Making the Most of Parent-Teacher Conferences

The words “Parent-Teacher Conference” have struck fear in my mind since I was old enough to understand that the very reason for a day off from school was for MY parents to talk to MY teacher about ME in my absence. The nerve!

Now that I am a parent, I appreciate these meetings for what they are: an unsolicited opportunity for two-way sharing between teacher and parent. Smoldering issues (as opposed to big burning questions that warrant an after-school phone call) that otherwise might not be discussed are brought to light. Talking in person gives both sides the benefit of reading the body language and hearing the tone of voice that is masked by email correspondence. This is a golden opportunity for collaboration, not to be wasted.

Time is of the essence, as conferences are typically scheduled back-to-back in 20 or 30-minute intervals. Do your homework to make the most of this limited time. Here are some suggestions:

1. If you are attending this meeting with your spouse, get on the same page. Don’t waste time in the meeting figuring out what you want to discuss. Establish goals before the meeting.
2. Choose two or three priorities and write them down in order of importance. Bring the list with you and share it with the teacher when you sit down. This communicates both your concerns and their rank. The teacher may want to jump right in to addressing your concerns, or may have other things to discuss first. Go with the flow.
3. But watch the clock. Once half of the allotted time has passed, it is fine to politely interject that you would like to discuss your concerns if they have not already been covered. Equal time is a reasonable expectation.
4. Be specific. If you are concerned about something, name it and claim it. If you want something, ask for it specifically. If you are unclear on something, get clarification. This is much easier to do in person than after the fact via phone call or email.
5. Make notes during the meeting. Be especially careful to document anything anyone in the meeting (including yourself) has promised to do.

In the end, if you are dissatisfied with your conference, you have several options. One is to say, at the end of the meeting, that you would like another meeting with more time. This would also give you the opportunity to invite additional people (such as the principal) to join you. If you feel that another meeting with the teacher will not resolve your specific concerns, it is okay to move up the chain of command and meet with a director, dean, or principal. Either way, provide a list of your concerns prior to the next meeting so that everyone will come to the table prepared to discuss those issues.

Finally, try to keep things positive. Intentionally or not, teachers’ perceptions of parents do shape how they treat the children, for better or worse. Focus on collaboration for the good of your child and the best possible school year.

This post was originally published at www.heathergillum.wordpress.com.

An Attitude of Gratitude

"I am thankful for my socks."

So said my daughter when pressed to come up with something that she was thankful for, besides her baby dolls and her beloved "lamby".

Even very young children can begin to develop an attitude of gratitude. An easy way to start is by asking what they like, or what they are glad about. This will most likely be physical items (especially toys!) until about age four.

By age five children can relate to the concept of appreciating family members, teachers, and friends. At about this age, we started asking our daughter what three things she was thankful for that day as part of our bedtime routine. This has become a treasured part of our day, and, as a bonus, gives me a regular barometer for what matters most to her. It has also created some teachable moments for discussing the value of relationships over "stuff".

Remember to continue adding to your "jars" that we talked about yesterday, and create a attitude of gratitude in your child.

Gratitude Jar

My daughter came home with a "blessings jar" from Sunday School the other day and I thought what a wonderful idea to remind us to be grateful for what we have and for the people in our lives. We naturally get so busy going from school to ballet or soccer practice, that we tend to forget and stop and just be thankful for what we have. For our friends, our family, our pets, our homes, where we live, good neighbors, the sweet cashier at Publix and I could go on.

My daughter's jar was simply decorated but was filled with color paper with drawings of what she is grateful for,  such as special items and names of people that my daughter adores. She listed her family members, friends, her special lovies and even her dog, Tucker.

If you knew my daughter and her relationship with our dog, you would be shocked she even mentioned him as a blessing! She is not a fan of our beagle/pug mix at the moment. He is our sock bandit and loves to sneak in some Goldfish or whatever he can nab from the hands of my little sweet peas.

So I digress... sorry! My point is that I have been inspired by this "blessings jar" and want to continue a jar for our whole family! I am going to name it our "gratitude jar" in the spirit of the season and every day as a family write down or even draw what we are grateful for that day.

Again, keep it simple. It doesn't have to take a lot of time. It is just the thoughts you put in it. I feel that the more we acknowledge our blessings and make an effort to be more grateful for them, then we are less likely to be negative or talk about what we don't have.

So are you with me Hands on Mom friends? Let's start a "gratitude jar"today and continue to count our blessings, no matter how little you might think they are.

Remember to include you children by letting them decorate the jar. The more you get them involved, the more excited they will be to participate in this project.

Examples of jars could be an apothocary jar (see below), a juice jar, hurricane glass candle holder, or even an empty plastic animal cracker jar. Get creative and just have fun with it. You will be surprised the effect it will have not only on you, but your whole family as you enjoy the spirit of the season.

After you decorate your jar, we would love for you to share pictures of them to inspire more families to get on board of being more grateful of our many blessings!

3 Weeks until Thanksgiving-and plenty of time for new traditions

Three weeks until Thanksgiving.
(insert deep breath here, possibly accompanied by a sigh)
As parents of young children, we know that the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are the most wonderful and most busy time of the year.
So here's a thought.
It takes 21 days to make a new habit (so they say).
So, starting today, choose one thing to do every day at home with the kids.
Maybe it's reading together, sharing a cup of cocoa in the afternoon, walking the dog together, or working a puzzle. Or playing together, flipping through magazines, sharing your faith, or doing something kind for others. Or talking while you make dinner. Or creating new daily chores that will make things easier come holiday time.
If you start today it could be a habit by Thanksgiving, and that much easier to keep going through the holiday rush.
It could become an anchor of calm and routine when the kids schedules are anything but regular.
It could become that moment when you end up talking about the important stuff.
It could become what your child wants to do with you when they come home from college because it feels like home.
As moms, we are the keepers of the traditions. Not just for holidays, but everyday.
What's yours?