If you don’t see a chart that strikes your fancy, then you
can try to create one yourself. For example, I have done a dot-to-dot with my
oldest daughter. I just drew out a crown and other girly things and let her
connect a dot every time I caught her doing something good or whatever the
behavior we were trying to improve. One week, it was being nice to her sister.
The other week, it was using her manners such as “please,” “thank you,” “yes ma’am,” etc. So it made me
look for the positives instead of the negative behavior. My daughter thought it
was so much fun connecting the dots and when she connected all of them, she got
a small prize of what the picture was, such as a crown.
Another strategy I have done is a ticket system and this
again, made me look for the positives. I also didn’t have to raise my voice and
it was easy for Dad to adapt to and reinforce when he got home. My daughter started the day with three tickets
and the goal was to get more tickets. In order to get more tickets, she had to
not talk back or be sassy. That was the goal one week. So every time, I caught
her saying nice things or even being sweet to her sister, I would give her a
ticket. We set a system up at the very beginning that if she got a certain
amount of tickets, like for 6, we could go get yogurt, 9 tickets, she could
pick a place to go out to dinner, 12, she could get a new book. The key was not to get any tickets taken
away. So you have to really be on top of it, but it is so worth it. Your child
will be so proud when they get a ticket and feel good about themselves when
they hear what they are doing right. When children are shown and taught what the
behavior you expect, the more willing they are to behave and respect you.
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